


I Miss You

by ChettaDrabbles (KOranges)



Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Author makes things sad, Captain America: The First Avenger, Love Letters, M/M, Then I ruined it, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-07 00:08:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11047188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KOranges/pseuds/ChettaDrabbles
Summary: Steve wasn't writing Bucky. He didn't want to. He didn't even miss him. Everything is perfectly fine with Bucky Barnes sent of to war. And doing his part. While Steve sat at home like a loser. And Bucky risked his life. Probably playing the hero and punching Adolf Hitler in the face....He still wasn't going to write first.





	I Miss You

**Author's Note:**

> Each of these drabbles are inspired by a prompt I received during an eight month long writing challenge. I'll only be sharing my favorites but every Tuesday & Thursday and I'll post a new one.
> 
> Prompt: "I fucking miss you. Asshole."

Punk-

I'm not writing you first.

-Bucky

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Jerk-

Neither am I

-S Rogers

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

You little shit-

Typically the person who is sent off to war gets the long weepy letters from home.

Where are my weepy letters, Stevie?

-James Barnes

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm not playing this game, Jackass-

I dunno, where's mine? Don't you miss your dear old pal?

-Steven G. Rogers

P.S. Don't get shot

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

You're totally playing it, you little shit-

I miss you as much as I miss Old Lady Madison's fucking cranky old Schnauzer. ~~Which is kind of a lot more than I thought I was going to ok?~~

Just write me already, punk.

-James Buchanan Barnes

P.S. I'm doing what I can.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Don't make me come smack that smug grin off your face, jackass-

You loved that mangled little rat, stop lying. He only bit you the one time. ~~You have a thing for violent, angry little creatures don't you, Buck?~~

Same goes, you idiot.

-Steven Grant Rogers, MD

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

I’d like to see you try, ass hat. Not that you wouldn’t give it a fair go but honestly have you seen you? ~~Unless you’re talking about kissing it off which is an entirely different proposition~~ -

Truth be told, I do miss the little monster. There's not much in the way of entertainment here. Plenty of violence, though. I'm actually glad you're not here, Punk. This is a shit show. I miss home.

And no, the above was commentary on your remark. In no way was I writing first.

-James Buch- Wait hold on did you actually give yourself and MD just to make your name longer?

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Shut up-

*SKETCH OF THEIR STREET- COMPLETE WITH THE DOG*

-Steve "I've been to the Doctors four times this month and qualify for my own MD now" Rogers

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

FOUR TIMES? Jesus, Steve. Even for you that's a lot. Are you ok? You've been making sure to your medications and everything, haven't you? Go stay with my mom if you need to and don't be such a turd about it.

I should've stayed back with you. I'm sorry, man. I'm writing my mom to make sure she checks in on you. Be prepared.

Seriously, take care of yourself until I get back. Only eight more months, man.

-B

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey, Idiot-

Are you forgetting last winter? I went easily seven times last January. Breathe. In and out. I'm fine without you, you need to be doing your part. I just wish I could be there with you. I feel really fucking useless here. And thanks asshole, your mom has now unofficially moved in and I have no peace. Did you know she made me call out sick from work? That factory is making supplies for you guys fighting! And rent isn’t getting any cheaper. Brooklyn isn’t as affordable as it used be. I can't be missing days just because I have a little bit of a pneumonia.

I wish I could do more. I wish they'd just let me enlist.

~~I actually have something to tell-~~

~~I leave in two-~~

~~There's this Doctor Erskine-~~

You stay safe too, Bucky. Your mom is worried sick. Not as sick as me, but close.

-Steve

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

I believe you're the idiot in this scenario...how the fuck do you get a "LITTLE" bit of Pneumonia?-

You almost DIED last January, so I don't think you want to go there. I will personally bring the front lines home just to beat your ass.

Somehow I'm sure the factory limped along without you. I've got shoes, socks, and bullets so I'm assuming it went ok. I just want my best friend alive when I get back.

What this I'm reading under your scribbles? I'm just making out the word Doctor, Steve, and you've got me worried. And mom’s snitching on you so don’t get any fucking cute ideas.

Though, being fair, everything's got me worried. My only consolation is that you and mom are safe over there. This is hell. Tell mom we passed by her hometown the other day. Headed east. We're pretty near the front line, actually.

Stay safe, alright?

I miss you.

-Bucky

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

You miss me? I think we have a Christmas fucking miracle.

I don’t know how cute this idea is, but I suppose you’re gonna hear it from your mom pretty quick. I left Brooklyn. I left New York. I’m in Jersey of all fucking places. And- you’re gonna wanna be sitting for this part so I’ll give you a sec- I’m at Camp Lehigh.

I don’t have much to share just yet, but I will. They’re gonna let me fight, Bucky. I just want to do my part. It’s not set yet. But I’m fighting for it.

Stay safe. Don’t win the war until I get there.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

This better be the worst joke you’ve ever pulled, Steve Rogers or I swear to fucking god I’m raining hell down on your ass.

YOU’RE IN JERSEY?!

I am so disappointed in you. You’ve failed me. You’ve failed all New Yorkers everywhere. You are disgrace to the Rogers name. Your poor ma is probably spinning in her grave right about now.

But Camp Lehigh? You actually got the fucking army to take you? ~~That’s almost worse than Jersey. Just go home. Just stay away from this place and don’t let it touch you.~~ This place isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, kid. I’d rather be home with you any day of the week.

What, I tell you I miss you and get jokes? Don’t you miss me, Stevie? I miss you a fucking lot. Sometimes I tell the guys here about you. ‘Course I call you Stephanie or all sorts of other names when I do. I know the rules.

But don’t use up all the stupid, alright. I left it there for you to keep safe and you clearly got into it. Let them put you on desk detail or something safe. Do your part where I don’t have to worry. You know you got a worrier in me, Rogers.

I’m going to keep telling you I miss you until you say it back, by the way. Saying sorry now if my letters get sloppy. We’re in some shit right here, Steve.

-Bucky

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

All sorts of other names? Like what?

Your ma asked me about the sketchbooks. I had to burn that one book you liked so much but tucked that one sketch in here for you. I didn’t need her seeing that not every drawing a did was some kind of anatomical study. I think she knows but she’s not saying anything.

Training sucks. Why didn’t you tell me how much training fucking sucks? I ache all over. I keep embarrassing myself but Dr. Erskine says it’s more important that I keep getting back up. There’s a dame here, Buck. I think you’d like her. British thing who’s part of the SSR.

That’s probably too much to tell you. We have our final run tomorrow (13 whole miles. I may die.) and then they chose. They haven’t said how many. Everyone else is bigger, stronger, better. I probably am gonna get shipped back to the factory. I just don’t know.

I don’t miss you one fucking bit, asshole.

-Steve

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Woah, woah. You can not send me a naked sketch and talk about some “British thing” in the same breath. Not allowed. Let’s start right there.

I’m pretty sure I did tell you training sucked. I’m also not a 90 lb asthmatic. I can smell the Army’s desperation from here.

Names? Babe. Sugar. Angel. You know, the names we usually keep for our lazy Sunday’s at your place.

No time now, hope your run didn’t kill you.

You’re a fucking liar. I miss you.

-Bucky

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

How about Darling?

So they chose me. It was me. Erskine’s coming in to talk to me in a bit and I still can’t wrap my head around it. I can’t tell you what’s happening but I will. I promise. I just need to understand it myself first.

We’re back in Brooklyn so my poor ma can stop spinning in her grave and you can stop being disappointed in me.

Stay safe. I still don’t miss you one bit.

-Steve

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s been a month, Buck. Haven’t heard from you in a fucking month and if you don’t get your shit together soon, I swear to god.

Everything’s different. We lost Erskine. There was an attack. I’m not coming to the front line, at least not right now. They’ve got to keep me here for a bit. I’ve started helping out at the USO a bit. A lot. It’s the only thing anyone will let me do and it pays.

I’m different. You’d notice if you saw me.

Write me back, asshole. Just so I know you’re alive.Not that I miss you or anything.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Alive and well, fighting a war.

I have never called you Darling once in my damn life. Honey, maybe. Sweatheart, a couple times.

And USO girls? I feel so betrayed. I miss you enough for both of us. Especially that little squealy noise you make when it’s cold and I push you out from under the blankets. And that little freckle on the back of your shoulder.

I could go on…

-B

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, thanks for letting me think you were dead for two months. Your poor mom was worried half to death, you know how much she misses you. She was beside herself these last few weeks.

I’ve been so busy. It’s been a whirlwind. You wouldn’t believe how much my life has changed in the last few months, Buck. It’s insane. I wish you were here to see exactly what’s happened. Or I wish I was there to show you.

I don’t even have time to write more. I’ve got an actual Senator waiting for me to be ready for dinner.

-Steve

P.S. See how much I don’t miss you? I’m super busy.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

I’m fighting in a war, Stevie. I win.

You fucking miss me you, liar.

 ~~Shit’s getting sticky here. It’s bad.~~ I wish I was there and cuddled up in a warm bed with you. Miss you loads.

I thought my mom went to stay with family in Ohio? When exactly did you talk to her?

-Bucky

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

I saw your mom last night, Barnes. Almost every night. Didn’t I tell you? I’m your new dad.

I’m actually going to be going oversees soon. Next week, I think? I gotta check the schedule. Some camp in the green zone in southern Germany. It’s definitely safe. The Senators don’t want their prize monkey getting itself injured. I tried to find out if you’d been anywhere near but that’s “classified” and “above my paygrade."

You don’t know shit, Barnes. I’m completely fine without you.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Considering the things we’ve gotten up to, I should kill you for impugning my mom’s honor that way. But I also just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

Gotta run. I miss you.

-Bucky

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Turns out Germany is next month. I’ll try and swing a visit to the 107th if anybody will tell me where you are.

Your mom has my apologies. You can kiss my ass. And several other things, while you’re down there.

Still don’t miss you.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, that was vulgar but funny. Why haven’t I heard back from you? It’s two weeks to Germany.

I never thought I’d get sick of this shtick but I have. It’s kind of the same thing day in and day out and I don’t feel like I’m actually making any difference. This is not what I thought “doing my part” would be like when I dreamed about it. There’s no glory in it. Just spandex.

Seriously. I think I miss Old Lady Madison’s dog more than I miss you.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky,

It’s been a long time since I wrote you a letter. A year, I think. I’m in London. Stark flew me in ahead of everyone else because they didn’t have anything to –

– I can’t do this. It’s useless to do this. It’s useless. It hurts. I’m not a stranger to pain and this is by far the worst that I’ve ever felt. I can’t see around it. I even tried getting drunk but that didn’t fucking work.

I watched you fall to your death.

I watched you die and I couldn’t do anything to stop it from happening. Just like ma. Just like Erskine. I feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest and I can’t even drink it away. I don’t even know what to do now. London is in shambles. Bombed all to shit. I’m in that bar we went to that one time. When you met Peg? It’s rubble now. How fitting.

You promised.

You said we’d be together until the end of the line.

_I fucking miss you. You asshole._


End file.
